Yarn Shopping

(Words © Talis Kimberley, 2015 and Music © Talis Kimberley & Mary Crowell, 2016)

Sister, I’m going out shopping
And it ain’t to the hardware store
You know some days are all just a bit too much
And you can’t sit at home anymore
Well, I daresay I’m all kinds of needy
And I want what’s not there to be had
But the fact is I know that I’m greedy
And I want what I want real bad.

Tell him he’s welcome to ply me
With all kinds of quality goods
Just let me get my hooks into him
And you can go tell the whole damn neighbourhood
That’s the top of the range right there hon, (oh, yeah, you got expensive tastes)
That’s the tea in my bone china cup (Kettle’s on, dear. Patience.)
If he knows when to / follow the pattern
And when to just make it all up – ah –

Sister, I could fall real hard for a man who knows his way
Around a yarn store, around a yarn store
Put his name on my dance card if he smiles when I say
Just one row more, honey, just one row more.

Let’s talk silk, let’s talk high end;
Alpaca toothbrush for the weekend (I see what you did there)
Neon acrylics, they don’t get a mention, (Nuh-uh)
Let’s talk fit. And honey, let’s talk // tension…

Sister, I’m going out shopping (Wait, I’ll get my coat)
And it ain’t to the hardware store (but the hardware store’s pretty fun too)
You know some days are all just a bit too much
And you can’t sit at home anymore
(you should ring, I’d come round!)
I want comp’ny when I’m out smooshing;
Oh, *your* heart’s set to cast off again, hmm?
I want someone to hold me and whisper (Do tell!)
‘You and me, later on – skein to skein…’

Now they’ll tell you the yardage may vary
But what puts my heart in a whirl (Oh, puts your heart in a whirl too, huh?)
/ Yeah, I’m with Mary – is a man who can tell his knit from his purl
That’s the hand-dyed pedigree single-flock (single flock? I know the sheep’s name!)
And this time I’m going to swatch (in fact he’s a friend of mine)
I want the gauge to be right this time
Well hon, I’m sitting here, ‘cos this is a thing I wanna watch –

Sister, I could fall real hard for a man who knows his way
Around a yarn store, around a yarn store
Put his name on my dance card if he smiles when I say
Just one row more, honey, just one row more

Let’s talk silk, let’s talk high end;
Alpaca toothbrush for the weekend (I laughed the first time)
I’m on a mission, I’m climbing the walls –
You’re singing a sex-and-knitting song, hon. Now, that takes
Balls.


A Little Bit About 'Yarn Shopping'...

My dear friend Teresa began this – one slightly naughty conversation put the seed in my head, and I played with versions of it for well over a year until it took something like shape. Then I watched ‘High Society’. Then I introduced it to Dr Mary Crowell, another dear musical friend. Her particular piano style brought it all together and we hammered out the music between us – a rewrite and a fresh ending later, and here we were. We haven’t gigged this live yet, not least because Mary lives in the US, but I won’t rule it out. It was a delight to put words in Mary’s mouth and then hear her sing them just as I’d imagined. Mary is a bad, bad influence. You’d like her.